Exploring Womanhood

2010-11-18T18:12:00.000-08:00

Away from her..

2010-06-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

3 more days to go and it would be my birthday! Yet, I still can’t find any reason to celebrate that day. I’m missing my daughter. God knows how hard it is being away from her. Yet, I have to understand. Being away from her gives me the strength to be strong and to stand still. It gives me reasons to strive harder and work more, for I know someday, all my sacrifices, hardships and struggles will pay off. And I know that God has blessed me when He allowed me to bear Xoxo. I never thought that I would be a mother myself, but God is so good. Even before I became a mother, I had always wanted to be a working mom, because I wanted to provide and give my child’s needs and wants. More so, for me, motherhood is a career. It is the most challenging career compared to any job offered on earth. It is the only job with no pay but offers a lot of benefits. It is a career that can bring you more fulfillment than countless promotions. It is a career that I wouldn’t trade for anything. And indeed, being one has really changed me and shown a side of me I have never known.

Motherhood is a great responsibility and a job that will never end. And all I can say is that I'm forever Grateful and thankful to GOD for giving me a chance to be a mother, a chance to nurture this wonderful, innocent soul who totally completes my existence. And if I may add, everything I know about motherhood, I learned it from my little girl. I don't know what tomorrow brings but I am glad that I am a mother.

To all the mothers out there- working moms or stay at home moms. We may differ in our ways and our beliefs on what is important, but one thing is for sure.. we do what we believe is best for our child.

MatrixMT Team Building

2010-06-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I wasn't able to update this blog for God knows how long. I've been busy with a lot of things though I'm not so sure if it's all worth being busy about.

Before summer ends our department held our quarterly outing at Midway Resort, Initao and I was surprised that there is such a nice quiet place at the bottom of that mysterious place.

A big WOW for the shore area. I find myself kayaking already at the clear water with small marine life swimming around me. I have been to other places in the province but never been to a resort with a preserve sanctuary in front of it.

I wanted to soak in the water for hours but couldn’t do so since my time is limited. The foods are satisfying too since it were all prepared by my officemate Elizabeth and the staff are so nice. Though some of the rooms are need of repairs but still maintained by the management, they still looked accommodating.

This resort is as simple as it gets but so much to explore. The ambiance is great and so peaceful and not congested with tourist.

I really enjoyed my stay there with my fellows and our department is looking forward in going back there soon.

My First Tattoo!

2010-05-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

This was my first henna tattoo which I got during our company's 4th-year anniversary celebration.

Some of you might wonder why I go for it....well, it's just a temporary tattoo...Good only for summer affair...

I Miss You Xoxo!

2010-05-29T00:05:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day Special

2010-05-10T04:28:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day come and go, but for us moms... every day is Mother's Day! :) We celebrate motherhood daily... In my life; there is nothing more rewarding and fulfilling than being a mother. It is a dream come true. I am so blessed to have been given the privilege to be pregnant, to deliver and raise a child. I can still remember when I used to have all day sickness and sensitiveness and can’t keep anything down and needed prenatal vitamins. I also vividly remember when I was about to give birth to my daughter. It was so special and has its own unique story to tell. Now that Xoxo is no longer a baby, I like to cherish and treasure each day that I spend with her. I know that these moments will not last forever.

This is what makes my every day a moment to remember..

I am just so blessed to have a sweet daughter that never fails to make us smile everyday. She is indeed a gift. I love you Xoxo!

My little pretty brat..

2010-03-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

I really admire my daughter’s hair; it is so fine and can be styled so easily. It can be curly, straight or so messy just like this one..

Xoxo is growing up so fast. She is a bit snob sometimes and am hoping that she will change. I want her to grow to be friendly like my hubby. She is also a jealous little baby, coz she would cry when I would hug and carry other kids in front of her. And I would just laugh at her, because I know that as much as I love her, she loves me too!

I want her to know that for every step of the way, I and my hubby will always be with her. We love you so much dear little pretty brat!

Worth a treasure!

2010-03-12T17:38:00.000-08:00

Weekends are our family bonding time. I don't know but Xoxo has a certain glow during weekends that every time I took her pictures she poses like a grown up already. As much as possible I want to spend that precious day with her to bond and play. And when I go home, I simply love Sunday mornings coz it means laughter, giggles and pillow fights and bites with my hubby and my daughter!

Below are some of our weekend pics..

Xoxo and me..

Xoxo with my hubby..

Hubby and I had our own share of bonding moments with our daughter. Moments like this are really worth a treasure! Nothing really compares on being with your family.

A sweet remembrance..

2010-03-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

This was taken last Ash Wednesday and right after the mass we headed to a local restaurant to have dinner. And a little bonding time while waiting for our food to be served..I really love documenting pics of ours as a family. Such a sweet remembrance.

Messy donut!

2010-03-11T21:18:00.000-08:00

When I go home, I always bring Donuts for my little one because I know she really loves to eat it.

She loves sweets so it is not a surprise to see her eating donut dip with chocolate.She is not even aware of her messy face and even asks for more!

She is a voracious eater until now and I hope she won’t change until she gets conscious of her figure, lol.

It is always a joy looking back on this moment of hers. And looking forward for many happy and messy moments to come!

Happy 2nd Birthday Xoxo!

2010-03-07T04:45:00.000-08:00

A special little girl in my life turns 2 years old today.

I want to tell her lots of things. How proud I am of her. How special she is. How she has blossomed into a beautiful and graceful young woman.

I want to explain to her what’s life ahead of her. That the others in the neighborhood can sometimes be cruel, that she needs to keep her head up and walk proud and respect herself, and have enough confidence and wisdom to respect the choices she makes.

I want to tell her that it's fine to make mistakes, that we learn from mistakes and that mistakes can make us better people. And if we live life afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, that we never grow.

I want to tell her about how hard it's been being away from her, but because it's been worth every single second, I won't.

I want to tell her all about how in life, there are always choices, and that it is these choices that define us, that build our character, that make us who we are.

I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how much I love her.

This day also reminds me of the day she was born, when I first held her in my arms. Something happened. I cannot describe it, but it was like something reached up out of nothingness, grabbed my very existence and shook it awake. It was just a moment, but it was very strange, almost alien, like some sort of out of body thing, where it was just her and I, and nothing else. It lasted as long as a blast wave, but it was unlike anything I have ever known. And through it all, I was very calm. But I knew what was going on, I felt this kind of scary calm and awareness of what was happening. Then I realized my greatest adventure has just begun.

I’m not what I am today if not because of you my precious… I love you Xoxo and you will always be my baby!

Happy Birthday!

A day to remember..

2010-03-07T04:16:00.000-08:00

I love my life, my husband and my daughter. I enjoy being with them and I want to stop the time that I don't want my daughter to grow up- but Xoxo keeps on growing too fast, too soon and I can't stop it. Their smile is contagious and it brightens my day. I love all the hugs and their kisses- it just melts my heart!

This was taken right after Xoxo’s birthday celebration. I cherished the moments we had on that instant, swimming and celebrating life and love! The laughter and the never ending talks are just so amazing, indeed a memory worth cherishing for. Their voices shouting, pleasing, teasing and laughing while helping Xoxo learn how to swim brings beautiful music to my ears. They are such a sweetheart!

I think of how much joy they have brought into my life. It was indeed a day to remember for the tree of us. A fun-filled day that will forever be treasured in our lives. They are my energy and my fuel in my everyday’s battle. I love being a mother and a wife and I'm looking forward to the many years that we will all share together in the future.

I love myself..

2010-03-05T04:03:00.000-08:00

I’m a mother and a wife and being such changed me much. I’m sure this is also true with other mothers out there. Ever since we gave birth to our little ones we have not done things we used to do, go to places we used to go, hang out with people we used to hang out with. Oh, I know you know what I’m talking about so I’m just going to stop right here.

Yes, I love motherhood and I’m enjoying every bit of it but I also want to remember that I’m also my own person before anything else so that’s why I’ve decided to post my solo pictures lest anyone forget that I don’t actually come with a child attached to my hip!:-)

My surprise!

2010-03-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

My daughter Xoxo just loves a bicycle. So, while I got the chance to have extra money, I went to the mall together with my officemate looking for it, and so glad to have found a Barbie bicycle- suits her perfectly! She owns a few Barbie items which she has seen so many times on TV that even myself is a very fan of that character.

I always give Xoxo something when she is behaving so well. And it is also our birthday gift for her! I’m so excited to give it to her. I just can’t wait to see in her cutie face how she would react! I know she would be so happy and so excited in her new ride!

My hubby teased me what a spoiler I am when I told him that I bought a new bike for Xoxo. I just told him back that I know you, you will do the same and you will fall in love if you see that bike.

Happy Eating!

2010-03-02T14:38:00.000-08:00

One thing about my daughter is she's never fussy with foods that we give her. When Xoxo began having solid foods, we had her eat and taste mostly anything so as she’d know the various flavors and textures.

But lately, it is so hard to make her try out new dishes or fruits. Although most of the time she’s so picky, there are also times that she can just eat almost anything. She only wants to eat fried stuff though. Her favorite food is french fries! She even dip it with a sauce. She likes it so dearly and crave for it almost every day.

She is also adventurous when it comes to food. She loves fried chicken too! Seeing her so behave eating her favorites is so comforting to know. I just hope that she will not change her preference once she gets a little bit bigger and hope to heavens that she'll never ever be choosy with her diet.

Miss Beautiful Hair

2010-03-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

As a mother I try my best of make my daughter looks presentable. Doing Xoxo's hair is my passion. I'm still honing my skills and my fingers to doing braids and ropes with precision and speed. This hairstyle took me a while to do since her hair gets tangled up and knotty.
My daughter has a very dark brown hair. She gets her hair from me. And usually she gets a very bad hair day. There are mornings where her hair looks like a bird's nest and some morning her hair is straight. Now that it’s warm her hair is getting wavy and longer. Pretty soon I'm going to go insane styling to those types of hair. And I’m also thankful she would just sit in a chair and let me comb and style her hair.

A Good Woman..

2010-02-26T17:52:00.000-08:00

A Good Woman

One you should treasure, but not as a possession,
Who needs to be loved, not treated with aggression.
Her value is more than all the world's treasures,
Not just the sum of scale's unit measures.
She should always be built up, not torn down,
By all the words you speak, when she is around.
She needs to be hugged and not pushed away,
Especially when you both having a really bad day.
Words spoken to her in haste and anger,
Can place her fragile heart in danger.
She should be admired for her boundless love,
And looked upon as a true gift from Above.
Not used as a target for all your frustration,
But held close and kissed with loving admiration.
You should always appreciate her commitment to you,
And not take for granted what she's given up for you!
Kiss her and love her all that you possibly can,
And don't be embarrassed to be seen holding her hand.
Treasure each day as if it were the last,
And at the end of your life you won't be regretting your past.

My beautiful girl.

2010-02-25T21:39:00.000-08:00

Everyday when I go home my friendly old landlady greets me with a huge smile and asks me how I'm doing that day. Today, I considered saying (with an equally huge smile) "Barely holding back the tears! And how are you?!" Somehow I found a way to resist the urge. I just smiled. I wonder if she noticed that the smile didn't reach my eyes. I just get really sad and overwhelmed sometimes. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way because I am so blessed. When I feel down and try to internalize it, I just feel worse and it leads to misunderstandings and misperceptions in my relationships.

Most people feel this way occasionally for short periods of time. If the sad feeling persists and begins to impact all aspects of life for a longer period of time, this may actually be a clinical depression. We can choose to ignore it and fill the void with addiction, indulgence and other destructive behavior. Or we can heal ourselves by talking about it. That's a start.

This blog is so healing to me because it allows me be honest and vocal about my efforts to maintain happiness and live a fulfilling life. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I always look for the light through the darkness. One of the ways I've found to do that is scanning of my daughter's pics in my cp. My love of pictures is undoubtedly connected to my love of writing and my love for my daughter. There's something about seeing photographs of my lovely beautiful girl that calms me. And I am so proud of her. She is such a beauty.
Just writing this post has boosted my spirits. My issues are still my issues, but what's more important than any problem I have is the responsibility that I have to be a source of joy.

Be a Mentor..

2010-02-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

You can probably look back at defining moments in your life, moments that made you who you are, and associate them with a person. I have always valued the importance of being mentored. My first and most important mentors were my parents and grandparents of course. They gave me confidence, faith, a sense of being safe and strength. Beyond my family though I can distinctly remember people in my life who made me who I am today, some did not even realize at the time that they were shaping a young mind and giving me tools I would use as a friend, a daughter, a sister, a career woman, a wife and a mother. It is amazing how I still have things that they have told me pop into my head at certain moments and how I truly take that unsolicited advice to heart.

One of them is my college professor, he gave me a lot of the strength of what I am doing today. He saw potential in me and took the time not only teach me the ideas but he also explain the important reasons behind the decisions we made. This is important because anyone can teach someone the fundamentals of life but a truly good friend and mentor will explain the “gut” reasons you apply one over another. A good professor will take the time to help you create a career path for yourself. He probably will never know how influential this was.

Having been given all of this advice and mentoring I feel very strongly that I need to “pay it forward” being a mentor to my daughter is extremely important. I guide, I support and I am tough. She always know where she stands with me and I feel that is crucial to give her the confidence to share ideas. It is never too late to be mentored or too early to be a mentor. Listen to people you respect, ask questions and learn from them. Teach people that look up to you; don’t just tell them what to do, show them. Make a difference in someone’s life and let someone make a difference in yours.

Let them play..

2010-02-23T20:48:00.000-08:00

Parents place an enormous amount of energy on their children’s academic education, their social skills, and on providing a wide range of opportunities to broaden their scope of experiences to be sure they become well rounded people. However, another extremely vital ingredient in raising a well rounded healthy child is being neglected…the opportunity to simply play.

Children are innately fun seeking, imaginative and creative creatures! Parents need to understand the crucial role “play” serves in the successful development of their children. Playing provides children with opportunities to exercise their minds in a non-structured environment, formulate ideas of their own making, and make choices without set criteria.

Many parents make the mistake of viewing unstructured play time as a waste of time. Nothing could be further from the truth. Like my daughter, she needs time to create, imagine and explore according to her own internal framework. For I know it is during these play times she will develop her creative side which is necessary for her to eventually discover her passion. It is through these experiences she will learn about herself and begin to connect with who she is.

Allowing her to be just child when she is a child is the normal order of our development as human beings. Robbing her of this important time is robbing her of something that can never be replaced. My daughter only gets one childhood…along with the best preparation for a successful adulthood, I must also be sure she has the best childhood. So I just have to let her create the experiences that will not only provide her with a childhood she will look back on with feelings of joy and happiness; it will also allow her to begin to develop important skills that she will use throughout her life.

To the parents, you must value and respect this time in your child’s life as the treasure that it is. Remember, they only have one childhood.

Happy Birthday Dearest!

2010-02-18T21:14:00.000-08:00

Someday, I will find my own Prince..but Papa will always be my King..

Happy Birthday Papa!!!

"I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours."

You are my brightest light, the one who makes my life full of beautiful things each day. The footprints of an angel are love, and where there is love, miraculous things can happen. Thank you for taking care of our daughter; she is our little piece of heaven. I will forever thank the Lord for sending you to my life.

Happy Birthday Dearest!!!

I am thankful..

2010-02-17T20:56:00.000-08:00

I am thankful every day for being able to wake up and see that my daughter and my husband have woken up as well. I am thankful that we have loving and supportive families as well. We have great friends and I am thankful because they care for me and they are the best of anything I have been given! They are always there for me when I need them. They always stick up for me to.

I am thankful to God for life, family and the opportunity to live life the way I wanted to be. Even though I have many lapses and shortcomings, I have been blessed with a loving community under God and should never take for granted the privilege.

I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to have a daughter, Xoxo- she’s the light of my life. She sometimes tries my patience, but I have to remind myself that those are the tests of God gives me to learn to be more patient. I am thankful for my husband who is my best friend in the world. I am simply thankful for all the blessings in our lives.

I am thankful for being able to be under the watch and care of God, for being able to live out His purpose and being able to learn my purpose through Him. I'm am thankful for his word, for the past short time I think part if not whole has helped and supported me throughout some situations. I'm thankful for prayer--without prayer how would we be able to speak to Him, to express our little joys, to go to him for aid? I'm thankful for Him. He's so great, and hopefully with Him, goal and dreams along with talents can be expressed in time.

I am thankful for being thankful and people like me or show interest in me and everyone I encounter both big and small, I hope I grace them with my beauty, love, hope, and appreciation for life and for everything they have to offer.

Lastly, I just have to be thankful on simple rich simplicities that God has given us. May God bless us!

My sassy girl..

2010-02-16T18:59:00.000-08:00

I’d like to tell the world just how proud I am as the mother of Xoxo. I never thought just how beautiful my little girl has grown up to be – inside and out. I’ve always known how she easily captures people’s attention whenever we go to the malls and parks. But more than just the external beauty she possesses, I am proud at how good and smart she is- even at her very young age. She is so sweet and loving. And while she has retained the playfulness and is sometimes even hyperactive, still she managed to remain obedient. She is so polite and courteous, too! My daughter never really cease to amaze me!

But what really makes this little girl stand-out is her in-born talent of making people laugh! She is so sassy and wacky at times, and I see a natural comedienne in her. She knows exactly how to make us all laugh. And she actually finds pleasure in doing so. Indeed, I am the number one fan of this little comedienne!

I can go on and on writing and sharing with you the many wonderful things about my daughter. I guess most parents can understand and share the feeling. I feel so richly blessed to be the mother of this adorable and very loving girl. I pray that I can be there for her and guide her as she grows up…

I know someday my daughter will read this.. And when she does, I want her to know just as much she made me proud and happy as a mother, and just how much she made me feel fulfilled as a person! I also want her to know that I don’t expect her to be genius and perfect. I simply want her to be good, to be healthy, and to be smart enough to enjoy life!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-12T21:26:00.000-08:00

Love with all your heart the blessed gift of your family and appreciate each and every moment because nothing in life is more important than your family. Happy Valentine's Day!

Being a mother..

2010-02-12T18:26:00.000-08:00

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby... that somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.

Becoming a mother is such a powerful and life-changing experience. It has offered me a capacity to love and protect that I had not known before. It brought me a unique opportunity for maturation. Somewhere in my own development, and I cannot say exactly how it occurred or when, I came to deeply respect, love and appreciate my mothering as an aspect of my identity.

I remember vividly the moment that I became a mother. Not in the physical sense, but in the spiritual and emotional sense. It wasn’t the moment of conception, or the day that I found out that I was pregnant. It wasn’t when I felt the first kick of my precious child’s little foot. It was in a moment of blinding joy the day she was born. The world seemed to stop spinning; only she and I existed. Nothing else mattered. And I would sacrifice anything to protect my daughter. Before having her, I didn’t realize what it was like to love in this way.

Giving birth and becoming a mother were powerful forces in forming my identity as a young woman. Meeting life energy during labor and taking responsibility for the life of a small child turned me inward to develop my core self. I became stronger over the years, but not without battle scars along the way.

I did not know the richness that my decision to have a baby would bring to my future. Neither could I have imagined that I would later consider pregnancy, childbirth and becoming a mother as some of the most pivotal events of my life; ones which would later prove to be the cornerstone of my professional, as well as personal, development.

I even saw my marriage in a different, even lovelier, and lighter. Watching my husband being a father and seeing how gentle he was with my little one made me love him even more.

Being a mother feels like the most important job in the entire world. In effect, I can create a masterpiece! Sure, my daughter comes with genetic material that controls more than we know, but I have the awesome ability to direct those inborn traits to their fullest potential. And the well-being of my child demands that I always do my best. One day, she will blossom into a woman who is in charge of her own destiny, and is appreciative of the life she has been given -- if I do my job right.

As hard as we might try, no one's perfect, I can't be perfect at motherhood. Sure, I may make it look easy, but I also have those little imperfections that make me human, and sometimes, those glorious imperfections make me a better parent.

Love is in the air!

2010-02-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

February is often known as the Love Month thanks to Valentine's Day. And days from now we will be celebrating the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. This holiday is being celebrated throughout the world. This day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of valentines. Aren’t you excited? Whew…I am so excited to celebrate it with my hubby.

While I typically focus more on how to be the best parent possible, I think it's important not to neglect that a huge part of that is having a strong marriage because marriage is the foundation of a family. Of course, for the couples out there, however you plan to celebrate the Valentine’s Day, just make sure you make it really romantic, and make your partner feel how much you love them. Do not focus on how grand it would be, focus on the emotions, because it’s in the simplest moments that us girls feel we are most loved. No need for fancy, fancy stuffs really, but if you're into it, why not?

While February may be Love Month, these actions aren't meant to be done in just this month. These are for every day of every year for the rest of your life. Make sure that foundation is strong and consider February just the check in month of every year. Use it to make sure there are no leaks, cracks or bugs causing problems. Patch up any problem areas and make it strong again.

Everyone needs to hear the words of love. So not just during valentines but today, tell that special person “I love you” not just with flowers, chocolates, cards, perfume, lingerie, jewelry and so on and so forth but with words, and always make them feel that love is in the air!

Counting and waiting..

2010-01-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

It's already February! How fast time passes by! In a few days, we would be surprised that it’s already the end of the month and then, another year has passed by. For a working mother like me, it’s so easy for time to slip by... while balancing family activities, work assignments and house chores and sometimes, we can easily lose control of how we spend our time. Instead, our daily activities control us.

This month would be so busy and special for me, first my husband promised me that we would celebrate together the Heart’s day, second, we will celebrate his birthday just a couple of days after Valentines and lastly we would mark a special day to make up for our anniversary. The thought of those makes me feel so excited and giggling. I’m so excited to see him and much more with my daughter. I really miss them so much!

And so I think it is best that I have to set goals and plans for that day. I should prepare for that day. I haven't written down mine yet, but it is my target to write down my goal, because writing it down will not only solidifies it, it gives me something to check off. I want to live each day with a purpose so what better way to do it than setting a purpose and be able to reach it.

Sometimes the time really does just seem to slip away, and lesser priorities can overtake more important ones if we're not careful! But sometimes, I don’t want to plan out everything because every time I do so, I always get so disappointed and frustrated with the outcome. But when I compare my life now to the way it was then, I can’t believe how far I’ve come. I don’t really care about – or even remember most of – the things that seemed so important to me at the time. Instead, as I began to really figure out what my real goals were – what I really wanted in life – and put those goals front and center in every aspect of my life, all of the distractions and unnecessary spending just melted away.

Well, I hope to set aside one night this week to do just this... but definitely, planning is a must for me this time while keep on counting and waiting for that day to come.. so excited!

My fairytale..

2010-01-28T19:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes our childhood dreams are just dreams, reading fairytales and believing in them, and as we grow and mature we find that our passions are what we need to follow…

Today marks another wonderful and blissful year of great commitment- our wedding anniversary! Two years gone by, time indeed flies so fast. I felt that time has cheated me; it has a way of slip-sliding through my life.

According to psychology, true love brings true happiness. As the two years passed with my hubby I realized there was nothing more I needed in life to be happy. He has become my spirit and my essence, my joy and temptation, the answer to fervent prayers whispered with only half a hope of their fulfillment. I revel in the freedom of the enclosure of his arms, the way I am beautiful in him in the mornings without running even a comb through my hair. He is the man who left spaces in our togetherness as pauses in the pace of a song. We proved to ourselves, even as young as we are, that we could do whatever we made up our minds to do, and we will overcome the obstacles that life will place before us and push forward. We have proven to ourselves that we can fight for something..and win. Yes indeed, life is beautiful.

We began as strangers..

We became friends..

We became one with each other...

Through triumphs and failures..

We remain as one forever..

Happy Wedding Anniversary
To The One I Love!

Years ago, I never thought I would achieve what I have- that the vision that had gradually taken shape over several years would actually become a reality. But with genuine love, good companionship and never letting my fairytale die, God fulfilled every plan He had outlined for my life. I trust these times will remain with me into the days when our hair would be speckled with gray.

Love is a beautiful dream. The people in love are dreamers. Ours is a story of two people in love, our souls entwined for all eternity, a fairytale that came true.

Get going..

2010-01-26T20:56:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life sucks... for everyone. And sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes it takes a few extra steps to get where you're going. And it happened to me, I want something so dearly that I became so desperate on that thing, and I was so disappointed knowing that I can’t get it, well, least for now. You see, I was yearning real hard for it because I believed it was one step closer to my dreams, my plans. And how frustrated I could get! But I guess I have to understand. I have to learn how to be patient. Maybe, now isn’t the right time for it, maybe in God’s perfect time. Or maybe I’ll just have to try a little harder. Just maybe.. But I'm not going to give up or quit because I feel the road is a little bumpy and extreme right now. Or that I will be looked on is a negative light for failing. I'm just going to dust off my knees and aim for it again.

I have to start putting that kind of attitude front and central in my life so that it would be much easier for me to do things that might otherwise seem difficult. So instead of just jumping from thing to thing and feeling a lot of stress and unhappiness about the state of things in my life, I should begin to feel a unity in my work, my financial choices, and my personal choices. I am really hoping and praying for the day that the universe will be working in my favor. For now, I just have to learn how to attract the things that I want out of life. I have to get going!

A woman is so special..

2010-01-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

I got this email from a friend, and i think it would be great if I share it with you..

“When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man, because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped you.. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel.. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes...don't change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not See me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you; my Holiness, my Strength, my Purity, my Love, my Protection and Support. You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.."

"So man, treat woman well. Love her; respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart; the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.”

The joy of being alone..

2010-01-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

I guess I don't need to say that this past weekend was awful. I just don't feel like it. I just want to sit down and stare out the window and wait for the sadness to pass. On the brighter note, I’ve always loved my own company. As a girl I spent many hours alone by myself, a good book, and taking pictures of myself were sheer delights for me. Even today whenever I have precious time alone, I still do that.. So rather dwell myself on the loneliness I felt, I make most of my time by taking photos of myself with different strikes and facial expressions, sounds funny and crazy, but I loved it. For I know that the time will come I will be getting older and when I reminisce those times I will just laugh about how crazy I was on those days.

I love capturing remembrances of my life. I do it for my own amusement and out of boredom. I'll just put some of them together here. I look different in a lot of my photos. I don't know if I look like this in person or not. So see for yourself..

I wish I had my husband and daughter with me with this crazy moment of mine..I know for sure my hubby would laugh just by seeing me like a camera freak, but I know he will also be proud upon seeing this pics by how I looked good at it.. And I wish they had witnessed how strong I am..making my time more profitable rather than spending it crying and sobbing because I’m missing them so much! I know they will both be very proud of me.. that I’m finding joy of being alone.

I get to be out of sorts, edgy even, when I can’t find a way to be in my own company…alone. I need that time as much as I need any other thing essential to life. In that way, I would maybe keep some of my head in the game, even if I can't play the entire time.

Dwelling on emptiness..

2010-01-25T18:58:00.000-08:00

It was still dark outside, and my breath floated like a frosty cloud in the cold air. I was feeling sorry for myself again. Day in and day out, the same old thing. Up and out in the house before daylight, just 15 minutes of commuting to the office. I made my way to the jeepney station on that bleak Monday morning. My week stretched out before me like a deep black hole. The week might be new, but I was feeling old and worn out. The brief weekend respite hadn’t provided much relief what with the laundry that had piled up that ate into what was supposed to be my family time. But my family isn’t here, I’m all alone, out of nothingness, living and longing to be with them.

The jeepney has arrived. Any attempt at relaxing thoughts was quickly replaced by memories of my workload- I was having difficulties dealing with my client site and the technical problems that goes with it. So much to do and the days were never long enough. I tuned out to the passengers around me and began mentally sort through the priorities that would beckon me as soon as I arrived at the office. The day would be full, more so because it was the beginning of the week.

The shifting passengers brought me back to the moment. The jeep stopped for a while to load passengers. That is when I saw a mother protectively carrying her daughter, I think almost as age as my daughter. She had the look that reflected resignation at having missed out on a seat again. I knew just how she felt, I had a seat, and she didn’t. She has her daughter and I didn’t. Nobody said life was going to be fair. Yes, life is unfair, and it hurts. I wanted to cry right then and there. Nobody knows what I have been going through, how much I missed my daughter and how hard it is for me, living away from her, feeling so empty, living in agony- the pain is almost unbearable. Lucky are the moms who have their child with them- experiencing the lovely days of their child’s life as they grows up.

I was already in the office, thinking of my daughter, still dwelling on emptiness, and the thought of that mother-and-daughter pair flashed back in my mind. It made me realize how precious time is. That moment leaves me a warm glow in my heart that helps me find and savor special moments in my life.

Hold on..

2010-01-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

This week things started off a bit slow. To be honest, I guess I should say that I started off slowly. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Well, about all kinds of things, about living far away from my family, the thought of being alone and no one to hold on, and the financial crisis that I have been going through. Normally, when I think of these things and situations, I try to focus and divert my mind on the positive ways and see them as blessings. This week, it's not only good memories that are inspiring me, but bad memories and thoughts are also my fuel. There are times that those thoughts make ways for positive and equally poetic musings as many would say and realize that the creative bunch of us are often fueled by emotionally charged feelings.

The not-so-positive memories and thoughts are motivating me to push forward and stand still. Some of the pain and emotional hurt that I have felt needs to be released. The pain hurts my health, my heart and my life and trickles over into every activity, word and interaction that I have. There aren't any more tears that I wish to unleash. But there are times that the tears flows and that is when a thought triggers a pain of which I cannot control. But the good thing is I don't cry as much as I used to. The tears have been around lately, but I've mostly been a little numb that I just want to stare into the space and focus on not thinking… And I seek unto Him, asking for strength, for guidance, for direction, and peace of my heart and mind.. I still want to hold on, I have to, and I need to..

Happy Birthday Glaiza!

2010-01-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

As a belated birthday celebration, our officemate Glaiza celebrated it with us in our office canteen just right after work. We had a simple celebration, with just our closest friends in the office.

I wish and pray that God would continue to grant
All whatever your heart's desires.
God Bless you more and more!

Again Belated Happy Birthday!!!

The best of both worlds..

2010-01-18T14:26:00.000-08:00

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we envision it. It doesn’t mean that life is bad, in fact, more often than not, what we get is much better than what we envision, but it is different. Instead of being an at-home mother and a full-time wife, I work in a company far away from home. With my schedule, it’s impossible to do all the parenting things I used to envision. I wouldn’t change the way things are, though. I love my job; however, I still feel it’s important to do a lot of the motherly things.I am now living in a world very different from the one that fostered my expectations. My intellect maybe in this day and age, but my emotions have not yet caught up. I feel a sinking sense of loss and longing every time I see a mother lovingly and protecting her daughter moments. I’m sure many women today think and feel as I do. But we can’t carry it off. As for me, it would help if I could simply accept the ambivalence in me, since it is not likely to go away. I am like a man, strong and vulnerable. For I know, all to soon my dreams will come to reality- my days will be spent on rich simplicities.. I will be with the loving arms of my family someday, I will be taking care of my daughter and husband, I would raise my daughter in the kind of environment I envision of, I would be accompanying my daughter in her checkups and I would be her consistent playmate, I would cook my husband the food he wants to eat and I would prepare his clothes, and I would be the one they see early in the morning when they wake up.With all of these, I learned that there is nothing more important, more rewarding and closer to heaven than being a mother and a wife.. It holds up a mirror that shows me what I already know in my heart. With all the demands of work and family, it’s never been more challenging to be a woman. But with God as my constant companion, I know I can be the best of both worlds.

Miss messy hair..

2010-01-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

My daughter came into the world with much hair, and as she grows up, her hair becomes even longer and thicker. So when my daughter’s hair started to look untidy I carefully fixed her hair using a baby comb. This was quite difficult to do as baby hair is very soft so it would easily slip through my fingers. Even though I was fixing her hair I could never get enough time to do a good job of it. Also, it was never easy to do as she has always been quite active. Once she had become mobile it was even harder to get her to sit still for long enough for me to set her hair. She just wanted to be away exploring and playing. Nevertheless, she still looks pretty cute even with a messy hair.

A mother’s heart..

2010-01-15T20:14:00.000-08:00

When there's nothing to do when I’m at home, I love taking pics of my daughter. It’s my passion and apparently it's something that she exactly likes too. I wouldn’t have to bribe her anymore just to pose for the camera, she instantly smile if I was about to take her pics.

What I like most about my daughter's facial features is her expressive eyes. A lot of people say that we have the same eyes though hers were bigger with long eyelashes. It gets a lot rounder and bigger when she looks amazed and delighted over something. I can't express the joy that I feel when I watch her sleeping that I can’t stop myself to plant a kiss on her face. I realize just how lucky I am that God gave me a wonderful daughter. Now, all I hope is that I could have more time with her and be a good mother. I love you baby.. with all my heart!

Meet and greet..

2010-01-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

Last night together with my officemates we went out for a lovely dinner meeting with our clients based in San Diego, you see, they just came over here in the country just to meet us, and some new faces in the company. It has been a long time since their last visit here. I think the last one was September last year but it seemed that was ages ago. And I haven’t got the chance to meet them that time because of some important matters so I was really glad I finally found the time to gather with them.

We had dinner at Thai me up; it is located not so far away in our office so it was convenient for us to go there. The place is a lot better than I thought it would be. Our manager ordered the foods for us, and I must say that all was so appetizing and delicious. Here are the photos..

The people..

The place..

The foods..

The meet and greet doesn’t just end there, so after dinner we decided to hang out at Loreto’s bar to chill and enjoy the rest of the night, we had videoke singing and dancing matching with drinking.. We stayed there until 12 midnight since we have to work early in the morning. I feel really blessed to have these wonderful people to work with. They are really so fun to be with that even though I was so sleepy and tired that time, I can’t help but smile whenever they are dancing and singing in the stage doing silly stuffs..

This night out wrap-up my almost a year of working with these guys and a good start before a long work-week ahead of us. Thanks guys!

Getting cozy with my hubby..

2010-01-14T20:43:00.000-08:00

I almost have no time to dine out or have a simple date with my husband. Ever since Xoxo came to our life, we rarely go out together. But of course, I wouldn't trade everything for having Xoxo. When John and I got the chance, we really grab it. Just like a week ago, we ate in a famous fast food. It feels like the old times, where we just hang out and nothing to worry about, we were just talking over sweet nothings. It was so cool when we had the whole establishment alone for a couple of minutes. We were early, and that was raining that time so we were the first to enter the store and we were able to pick the best seat. It was a great date for us because the foods were great too. That was a nice chat with my hubby, we kept on laughing over silly things not minding the people around us just getting cozy with each other. Thanks dear, I had fun, ‘till next time.

Not so ready..

2010-01-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

I'm a working mother who is struggling with a lot of pain over leaving my daughter away from me. Although my husband has to look at her while I’m away, I do not like that I have to work and leave her. I want to be the one to raise her full time and enjoy all the wonderful things she does all day. I have been working for some time now and thought that this would get easier but it hasn't. I am finding this agonizing. I am trying to make peace with this and it just isn't happening. My saving grace has been that I sometimes have some flexibility with my job to take some time off to spend with my daughter so I take advantage of that when I can. But that also typically only makes me wish that I had more time with her.

Here, I am riding on a bus, leaving my daughter and husband, being so emotional, still thinking way back home.. I almost cry a tear. I am not yet ready to get back at work, but I need to, I have to..

Now, I'm finding it hard to concentrate while working. All I can think about is my baby & when she's going to be here visiting me with my hubby. I have missed her like crazy.. It's been really hard not having her here with me.

Feeling better..

2010-01-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

I’m so glad my manager was so considerate that he approved my request to go for telecommute for 2 days to watch for my daughter..I can’t forget the day I arrived at home; she was so energized upon seeing me and hurriedly ran at me wanting me to carry her. That sweet moment keeps on flashing in my mind. I really felt that she did miss me. Look at her..

Thank God my daughter is doing well; she now takes her medications and eats her meals though I still have to tell her funny stories in doing so. She can now paint a smile on her face. At first, I was a bit worried as I see her because her weight really reduced. But now, she seems cooperating to gain her weight back.

I’m happy she’s fine now and I hope she will be continuously doing good, but it would also mean that I could go back to work in the office and that I would be leaving her again. I really wish for the day that I can be with her.. always.

My baby is sick..

2010-01-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

Life is tough and I am trying to survive of what we call struggles in life. I have just received a text message from my hubby saying our daughter is sick, she has been suffering fever and cough for 3 days now, and that she keeps on telling my name, finding “Mama” and asking “Mama” to feed at her, and now she really doesn’t wants to take her medications, she only wants “Mama” to take care of her. You just can’t imagine how upset I am knowing this that it gives me so much anxiety. My poor little girl, how I wanted to hug her right at this moment, if only I could then I would. As of now, I am negotiating with my team leader and supervisor for a possible change of schedule so that I can go home and take care of my daughter especially now that she is not feeling well. I am really worried I keep on thinking about her. I just really wish to see her and wrap my arms around her. I want her to feel that Mama loves her so much and that I would do anything for her. Please get well soon my dear baby and hope to see you soon..

The Jollibee mascot..

2010-01-05T21:12:00.001-08:00

We attended a local party that time in our barangay. It’s the annual Jollibee party for kids arranged by our local officials for the less fortunate ones. There were 50 over kids and adults at the party. Actually, we were not included in the list but we just graced at the party for my daughter to have fun since there were many kids out there. At first my daughter was having fun playing and cuddling with me.

Xoxo with her cousin Nash..

But as soon as the Jollibee mascot showed up and started dancing on the stage, she began to tremble and scream, she was clinging to me like a spider that time. The mascot even tried to pacify her but she just hugged me even tighter and started to cry. Since she was already screaming at the top of her lungs, we just have to leave the venue so as not to disturb those who are enjoying the show. She wasn’t like this before, not until she saw Jollibee moving and dancing.

I don’t know if there’s such a name for this phobia but it sure is freaking me out witnessing my daughter that way. I don’t know how long will she have this phobia or if there’s a cure for this. It’s amazing at how some children her age faces these mascots and clowns with no fear at all. I hope she'll get over this fear soon.

New year, new hair..

2010-01-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

I know it’s a surprise, but, it’s almost summer so I figured it was time to change things up and it’s new year, so time for new look. I haven’t had straight hair in two years so at first I was like, wow, who is that? Yeah, I just needed a change. It’s not that I didn’t love my natural hair and all that, because it was great, but, I figured, why not? It’s just hair, right?

The pacifier..

2010-01-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

It was one of the worst days of my life; I had a huge fight with my hubby, my daughter was sick, my head ached, and my brother kept texting me to send him money which I have none that time. Almost to the breaking point, I lifted my daughter into the bed to feed her milk; I leaned my head against the bed board, and began to cry. Without a word, my daughter raised her hand, took her milk bottle’s nipple out of her mouth and stuck in mine.

I almost burst out laughing while crying right then and there. Xoxo really knew how to comfort me, as if it was my pacifier, and she really can manage to put a smile on my face even how stormy my day was. To my daughter, thanks for coming to Mama’s rescue.

Christmas getaway..

2010-01-05T13:43:00.000-08:00

This is a super delayed post. I haven’t had the time to post this one, just right now. Last Christmas, I met up with my close friends and my hubby’s batch mates and so that time I go out with my husband and daughter and have lots of fun.

Together with my friends we sneaked away in a city where it offers amazing Christmas lights and decorations for Christmas is one occasion when the entire world is decorated with brightly colored and twinkling lights. Well, I ain’t too good with words so here are the pictures..

There are so many good things to say about this Christmas display. The large multi-colored, blinking and flickering pineapple style symbol is probably the main point of focus. Every lane we go, every home we see, innumerous Christmas lights illuminate our vision. Christmas lights are, in fact, regarded as the most important decors as they represent the true spirit of the season.

This night-out wouldn't be complete without my solo pics taken..:)

A family portrait..

With my hubby..

A mother-daughter photos..

Xoxo having fun and great time bonding with her godmothers..

If you love searching for the best lights of the holiday season and the best Christmas getaway, you won't be disappointed visiting Tangub City, just a few minutes ride from the heart of our province. I can honestly say each of them put a huge smile on my face!

Picture perfect..

2010-01-03T21:35:00.000-08:00

I believe there is no perfect relationship; however, people involved make the relationship ideal. Our relationship is a constant journey, sometimes we clash in our ideas and views about so many things but the good thing is we made sure to come to a definite extent that we could agree on. I am a type of person that would never stop on chasing the best explanation I wanted to hear. I always make a point that whatever issues we have, it should be answered straight forward. When I ask something answerable with a yes or no, then it should be just it, I don't like hearing further explanation which is needless. I don't need the blah blah blah thing. I don't like when my husband says I am the boss, in a relationship there shouldn't be any hierarchical distinction. I always reminded him that we are equal, when he sees that I behaved in contrast to what I wanted to be, he is more than welcome to remind me. A reminder that should not embarrassed both of us.

Constant communication is our tool. There isn't a day that lasts without minding how our days went by. I always love to hear healthy discussions. We talk before sleep. We don't let any misunderstandings unsettled; we made sure things are already patched up before we retire for bed, be it financially, emotionally or regarding family matters. We support and value each other's concerns. We deeply love each other even more as the day passes by. And most importantly, we have a lovely daughter who serves as our inspiration and makes our picture perfect. I just wish and pray that we will remain like this until the last strand of our hair turns gray.

Tres Marias..

2010-01-03T20:48:00.000-08:00

I am so lucky to have them. It's hard to find friends like them. Through good and bad times, I'm positive that forever we will still remain friends. They are my friends that I could and will never forget. We think so alike and it’s like were communicating with our minds! At the same time we're always thinking the same thing or have the same idea. They help me through my toughest times, and are there for my best times. Together we are unstoppable! We also help each other with love, family and friends problems. It's hard to find friends like them. We have so many inside jokes that nobody would understand unless they were there, or if they were just us!

The greatest part about being friends with them is sharing ourselves. We can talk for hours about nothing at all or communicate the deepest hurt with a single word. They bring love and light, kindness and caring, cheer and support into my life. Having our own interests, but always communicating. Because of you girls, I know myself better. Saying thank you may not be enough for helping me gain confidence in myself to stand alone- and for letting me know that you guys will always be there for me. We have been friends for quite a while now, and I just want to say that I'm happy that you were there when times got tough. I'm so glad and thankful for the day that we started hanging out together.

Welcome 2010!

2010-01-03T18:28:00.000-08:00

2009 was a great year. For my family it involved lots of change; a lot for the better, and a little for the worse. All of it was hectic, though! I am definitely looking forward to all of the positive changes that are sure to come in 2010. May good luck be near you always, like a lamp shining brightly on the many paths you travel.I hope this year brings you every blessing you are praying for… Welcome 2010!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

The year is just about to end and I am sending my Christmas greetings to all of you. This is a celebrating season and the Lord has been so good to me throughout the year. I guess He has been good to you too. Christmas is not only a time of celebration but also the time of reflection in life. It's a time of sharing and giving as well as forgiving. May the miracle of Christmas fill your heart with warmth and love! May your world be filled with happiness and good cheer!!! As you celebrate Christmas, may you experience true love. Jesus is the reason for the season and he is the epitome of true love. Have a Merry Christmas everyone! :-)

My precious reward..

2009-12-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

As a parent it is important that we spend quality time with our kid. I always treasure our bonding moments with my little girl. Although she is a Papa's girl, we still have our moments together. Xoxo is growing up already and she wants more attention that is why every now and then and if I have more free time I make sure I spend it with my daughter. Just like yesterday, we went in a nearby church to see their Christmas lights and decorations. She was so scared with the decors that she wants me to always carry her. Take a glimpse of our photos with my husband as the photographer..

With me working long and the shifting schedule it is no wonder that my daughter is so happy to see me when I am home. She always waits for me in the house gate as she gets overly excited when she hears me knocking on the gate. I always try to spend some quality time with Xoxo whenever I can and this is one of those moments.

We were just in the room playing and laughing with each other, and my daughter would giggle every time I am trying to kiss and tickles her stomach and neck, and she shouted while laughing “Mamaaa, mamaa..” as if she’s begging me to stop. To hear her say that just made my heart swells so much. I wanted to hug her right then and there. It's funny I do a lot for my daughter but it's the little things that comes back to me and it feels like heaven on earth.

I am glad the year is almost over. It has been a hard month for me at work. I was working seven days a week to compensate for Holidays. But it’s fine with me as long as I have Xoxo to keep me inspired. I always love it when Xoxo is so happy to see me when I get off work. Even how stressful my day was, when I just hear my daughter’s excited voice saying "Mama" and her lovely smile, I always forget how stressed I am, it would be my lovely, precious reward. And now I am ready for Holidays, which is to spend more time with my husband and my daughter.

A day with my baby..

2009-12-19T21:39:00.000-08:00

The joy of parenthood is full of limitless adventures, fun, patience, learning and an abundance of love. As a parent to a little girl I now understand the frustration and joy my mom went through with me and my siblings. There are so many happy moments of being a mother. Some are captured by the lens and some more moments are not! And those moments are always be remembered and treasured.

I love being with my daughter! Though sometimes, I feel guilty that I get upset and nag when she becomes too unruly or she messes up my things. I should always try to remind myself that a kid is a kid. And I also have to let her enjoy and loosen up because I don't want her to think that I am not fun to be with! And I always try to make sure that we have bonding moments.

I really felt mixed emotions that day. I was so happy that she was able to overcome her fear on the rides because she was afraid at first that she kept on hanging on my neck. She wants me to assist her in the rides, she always wants me to be beside her and I truly cherish this moment.

The pleasure and pain of raising a child is part of motherhood. A job that is both fulfilling and scary at the same time. Fulfilling when you see how your child develops and change right before your eyes, scared for what the future might bring. As a parent I only want what is best for my daughter. I never did understand that until I became a mother. My daughter is the air that I breathe, a smile on my lips, a twinkle in my eyes and most of all she changed my life- into a life that is more fulfilled, more exciting because she never failed to bring joy and happiness in my heart.

The Purple Party..

2009-12-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

It's another Christmas season! And talking of this season, we are speaking of parties, gifts, hang-outs, and different celebrations. Again, another parties are about to take place. Christmas parties are an absolute must for companies, whatever their size. A night out to remember at Christmas is an excellent way of saying a big thank you to the staff and employees for all the hard work they have put in over the year and developing a high level of team spirit. Christmas is a time for reflection and reconciliation as well as a great opportunity to let your hair down and party hard.

Amidst the natural disasters and economic upheaval, the resilience of the Filipino shines on! This is the spirit of our Christmas party. We were asked to wear purple because it’s the color of the year. And so it's a purple party that time! It was a simple celebration that started out with a registration and ended up with disco dancing! I am blessed because I have really wonderful officemates surrounding me! They are all so dedicated, loyal and over all good hard working people. I just wanted to share the photos with all of you! Hope you’re all enjoying the cold breeze of December..

We had lots of fun during that night. The foods were really right! I love the finger foods they served and the fruit salad. A variety of drinks were also served! There were also special numbers presented on the party by each department. But the highlights of the night were the exchanging of gifts! It was so much fun that we were thrilled and excited on what present we have to receive.

It was indeed a night to remember. A fun-filled night that even my daughter Xoxo had so much fun that she was delighted and amused by the people around her partying. It was a moment that will forever be cherished; Christmas indeed is a time of loving and sharing! Thanks for the memories dear friends and officemates! Thanks for a wonderful blissful year!

Only love..

2009-12-15T18:40:00.000-08:00

I work in a company where being on time is always an issue. I woke up late that morning, and hurried to fix myself. I thought the day was going terribly. My husband wasn’t speedy enough for me which increased my frustration. I finally get dressed for corporate Monday attire and I was in no mood for a chit-chat. I really felt bad for all my grumblings that morning. It wasn’t his fault I got up late. I thought but didn’t relent. While thinking about what lay ahead for the day, still worrying about being late, he accompanied me in the gate, he gave me a quick hug and kiss. And while I was about to go out in the gate, there my sweet, patient husband grabbing my hands wrapping his arms around my waist and he whispered me, “I love you, take care”. It stopped me in my tracks. For all the grumbling I had that morning that words made me stop. I told myself, “Who cares if I was late?” I certainly didn’t, not by then at least. And I realized that my work could wait, there was certainly enough of it, and one or two memos wouldn’t make much of a difference in my schedule. My husband reminded me that time really didn’t matter, only love. I’ll try harder not to forget that lesson. It was still early in the morning, but the emerging sunrise told me it was going to be a beautiful day.

My thoughts..

2009-12-14T19:56:00.000-08:00

I hate being alone. Whenever I am, my mind wanders, and not to the usual happy place as some people calls it, but to every mistake and failure I have ever made. It eats away at my soul, taking a little piece of my happiness as it goes. If I'm left alone too long I become an empty armor of the once hyper and unpredictable me. My world’s colors turn to gray and everything I see seems slower and more depressing. The few times that my mind wanders to places that aren’t cruel are the highlights of my days. I may sound crazy, but the ideas that I have would actually be fun to see through.

Everybody goes through those times when they laugh so hard they cry. Unluckily there are also those times where you feel like you have hit the rock bottom and nothing worse in the world can happen- then it does. Then when rock bottom couldn't get any harder you have a mental breakdowns, moments, or just plain breakdowns. I have all of those moments and somehow I still manage to get through it and do what needs to be done, and I always remember that everything that I make or decide affects everyone around me.

Other than that the whole 'being left alone to my thoughts' is a cruel punishment not fully understood by anybody but me. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter what kind of moments I did or did not have, what matters is that I have the best family and friends anyone could ask for and I love them just as much as they love me, no matter how imperfect and unpredictable I am.

What a woman wants..

2009-12-12T19:06:00.000-08:00

This is an open letter to men:

We love you, we really do. We know you're different than we are, and we like it that way. It's true we often ask you to act more like we do. But if we're honest, we know - and you know - that our differences make things more interesting and exciting.

People often assume that we're more complicated than you are. Our whirling, swirling thoughts and emotions probably feel like an ever-changing cocktail of both nuance and volatility. But there's one thing almost all of us want from you, and it's the exact same thing you want from us.

We want you to be happy. When you're not happy, we feel unappreciated and unloved. It's true: just as our mood affects you, your moods affect us. But what makes us feel loved is different than what makes you feel loved.

If you don't care what makes women happy or you're sick of trying to figure out female emotions, you can quit reading now. But if you're like most men, you've probably spent the better part of your life frustrated by females, and if you knew there was one simple thing that would make your woman happy, you would do it. Well there is.

Women want men to care. We don't want you to merely be willing to engage in the activities that are important to us; we want you to want to. We don't want you to begrudgingly take the family to the fair; we want you to be delighted. It may seem like telling us how inconvenienced you are or how much effort you had to put in would make us appreciate you even more for participating. But it doesn't. You may think we're angry when we nag you to spend more time with your family, but we're actually sad.

After talking with literally thousands of women, especially mothers, I can tell you - every time a woman has to badger a man to become more engaged, a little piece of her heart breaks. When a man complains or seems to begrudge his own participation, the woman feels unloved. To us, reluctance to engage equals I don't care. I know I'm just presenting one side of this, but that's kind of the point. I'll leave it to a man to explain the other side.

Here's the bottom line: women want men to be happy, and we desperately want participating in your family to be the thing that puts a big smile on your face.

Have a break..

2009-12-11T20:36:00.000-08:00

I don’t get out much. Like most mothers, I’m too busy with work and doing mom stuff to take time for myself. It was a long week and I have been coping four hours overtime for four straight days to compensate for my absence. And relaxing was a crucial component to the image I was polishing. And for my last day of overtime, a friend informed me that I should chill and loosen up, and she presented the idea of hanging out in a local prominent university near our office to see the school’s Christmas lights and other stuffs since it’s their foundation day. Her plan sounded good, and I thought this will unwind me from the loads of my work. And I also thought that I needed this break to retain my mental energy and physical stamina to accomplish all that needs to be done for the next days of my work. And so we contacted our other friends to come with us.

Making time for friends adds balance to life- friendship and one of the best spices in life. I really enjoyed that day being with my friends and being with myself. With this break, even the rough spots in my day have the power to become memories that have strengthened my spirit and uplift my soul. I have realized that despite my demanding job, sometimes difficult people to deal with, and my growing responsibilities, I can still press on conquering each day and making every moment counts.

My friends reminded me that even though I was part of the rat race, I didn’t have to become a rat, it’s a simple reminder for me to slow down, lighten up, and keep a smile. To my friends, thank you for bringing me a smile, recollection of fond memories and perhaps even new found appreciation for who I am, my being as well as the amazement in all I do.

Woman's geography..

2009-12-11T20:11:00.000-08:00

While I was browsing the net, I have read this site and I can’t help but share it with you.

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bush land around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Afghanistan. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically un-patrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.

After 70, they become Albania. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Baby no more..

2009-12-08T14:59:00.000-08:00

One of today’s most precious commodities is time. As a working mother, I constantly juggle the demands of work, personal interests, household errands and my daughter’s needs and attention. However, mothers can be so busy juggling that they lost sight of their child’s development and growth. Just like my daughter, I’ve just realized that she's getting older. It feels like I have just given birth at her. Time indeed flies so fast and I'll be sending her to school soon. I should have known, babies are only babies for a short time. Before I know it, my daughter would be too old to be kissed in public and I'll no longer be the one she runs to when she is sad and hurt, and gone will be the days when she climb into my lap and wrap her tiny arms around my neck.

That was just one of the ordinary days, and I was trying to fit her a dress I bought for my little cousin way back in my college days, which she eventually handed it over to my daughter. And it suited her perfectly! By looking at her, I noticed that my daughter have really transformed and bloomed from an innocent infant to a sweet, adorable, bubbly girl. She’s my princess.

As I watched her wearing that dress, she posed as if she was up to something, oh dear, my daughter maybe has a future for modeling, what do you think? Lol. She was really having fun while I was capturing photos of her. I think she liked every bit of it, striking different poses with different facial expressions

No promotion, raise, bonus or anything could ever pay for that moment. It was an image that is forever carved in my heart and memory. I may never be a supermom able to successfully juggle a career, a home and a family, but I'm learning to enjoy every precious moment I have with my daughter- even the difficult ones. For I know that all too soon she'll be grown up, leaving me lonely memories of happier days. My daughter maybe a baby no more, but will always and forever be my precious, charming baby in my heart and mind. To my daughter, a thumbs-up, from one proud Mama with love.

I’m the number one..

2009-12-06T15:19:00.000-08:00

My daughter, Xoxo, was just one year old when I left her for a job away from home. I’ll always remember how anxious I felt the time I leave her in her so-called nanny (actually she was my husband’s cousin, her name is Jane). Before long, friends and relatives started barraging me with questions about ‘working-mother conflict’, like ‘How was I balancing things? Your baby still know who her mother is, right?’.These questions haunted me and had turned my feelings of relief and gratitude to feelings of jealousy and insecurity for Jane.

I should have known better, as I have never grown up with my mother and was raised by my relatives, they never let me forget who my mother really was. Xoxo made it obvious that she loved Jane- asking her and greeting her with a big smile early in the morning- but she also knew that their relationship was different from hers and mine.

When I was at home, Xoxo always wanted me to prepare her meals and give her a bath. And although she’d wave bye-bye happily when I told her I was going to work, she’d protest loudly if I left for any other reason. I think my daughter had come to think of work as an ordinary and expected event that separates us only temporarily, and apparently the only acceptable reason for my absence. I always try my best to convey to her that even when we are apart, she remains my top priority. A working mother is still a full-time mother.

It’s clear to me now that those questions haunting my mind weren’t purposely trying to make me feel guilty. Most of us want to do a superlative job and there are no easy definitions of what that is. Unfortunately, at-home mothers and working mothers continue to throw darts at each other, and I’m convinced that it’s out of insecurity. We all want to know that the choice we have made is the right one- and both choices require great sacrifices. All parents need to feel that the sacrifices are indeed worth it.

During these almost two years of Xoxo’s life, I’ve come to a better understanding about what it means to be a mother. It’s not the number of hours I devote to my daughter, or the specific activities we share. It’s more the way my daughter gets inside my very being and remains there 24 hours a day.

As for Jane, her relationship with Xoxo was still defined by the fact that it was a job. Baby sitters come and go, just as children come and go for sitters. But a mother like me is there physically and spiritually for the rest of my daughter’s life.

A friend in need, is a friend in deed..

2009-12-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

My friends are certainly important and without them, my life would be pretty lonely. My friends are usually on the same wave length as me. I can talk to them about everything. We can laugh together and even cry together. They understand me, my moods, my problems, and my worries. They share my dreams, doubts, and fears, and most importantly they love me for being myself. Meet my friends..

Meet Babam, Aireen, and Damsel. I can always count on them to be honest and to give me the best advice. I know I can rely on them. They are very witty with a wonderful sense of humor but they can also get a little depressed from time to time.

They are my officemates. Their names are Elizabeth, Leilani, Glaiza and Janice and we have known each other since we were hired together in the company. We always like talking or laughing about something.

They are Janice, Yani and Bryan. They have a very nice personality and can be counted on in a pinch.

My wacky old house mates. Even though we haven't seen each other more often, and even when our lives get busy we still make time to catch up for each other through texts or calls.

My friends indeed are essential in my life, they are often the people I will turn to when I am feeling up or down. They are most likely to understand what I am experiencing and they understand my point of view.

My friends are my mirrors too, just like the maxim goes, “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are”. Well, my friends are beautiful.. beyond words, beyond imagination.

What’s in a shade..

2009-12-03T20:58:00.000-08:00

Every single day, no matter it’s sunny or cloudy, and regardless of the season, people are exposed to ultraviolet (UV) rays from the sun. Most of the time they do not even recognize it, as its radiation is invisible to the eye. And I am one of them, I’ve just encountered eye problems just recently, my eyes are red and sore for no apparent reason, I’m not certain if I'm afflicted with sore eyes but it certainly is irritating.. And so I had an eye check-up and I’ve just realized the importance of a sunglass.

For many, sunglasses complement the look of the one wearing it- be it young or old. Sunglass is not a fashion symbol alone, it is meant for more than just being a trendy accessory - its main purpose is for the protection of the eyes. Because of what we now know about skin cancer and its association with UV rays, sunglasses are essential not only on the beach, by the pool, or any other outdoor recreation, but also it is indicated that sunglasses are important all the time. However not everyone prefers wearing it as a prescription glass. Not only do sunglasses shield our eyes from the sting of the sun but like sunscreen, sunglasses also keep harmful UV rays from our eyes. Cataracts can develop from excessive sun exposure, which can lead to near-sightedness and other eye problems.

Now I have learned my lesson, so before it’s too late for you, grab a sunglass now that suits you perfectly and be sure the protection that you get is well worth wearing them, just like me. It doesn’t just prevent glare and shade the eyes from the sun’s light but of course it creates that attractive 'cool factor'.